Introduction to the Tantric Path by Dameron Midgett
If you choose a life of intimate partnership, rather than monastic celibacy, Tantra, a two thousand year old science/art from India, is something you should know about. Modern western society, which emphasizes romantic feelings of "chemistry" for partner selection, is mirrored by a high divorce rate as "chemistry" wanes. Tantrikas (practitioners of Tantra) do not leave loving to the chance feelings of emotional weather; rather, like alchemists, they practice techniques proven through the centuries to transform relationship straw into gold.
The path of the Tantrika is non-dualistic, meaning there is no separation of the physical/material world and the spiritual realm. Everything perceived is a manifestation of the "one" divine source. The body and its masculine or feminine sexual nature is not a source of original sin, guilt, and shame. The Tantrika looks into the eyes of the beloved and sees the divine.
Tantra teaches couples how to enter present moment awareness for sharing energetic openness of their bodies as a sacrament of living love. Tantra is not about better sex (though that certainly will happen); it is about creating deeper connection. Tantrikas awaken second chakra energy, combine it with heart energy of the fourth chakra, and raise that powerful current of sexual-compassionate energy to the crown chakra for conscious divine communion. Tantric practice of sacred sexuality intensifies and circulates procreative orgasmic life-force energy (chi) as a means of healing, renewing, and revitalizing ourself and our partner.
Learning Stages of Tantra
Tantrikas cultivate bodily openness and present moment awareness through un-partnered practices called "White Tantra". White Tantra familiarizes you with yogic techniques for relaxing the body-mind open and causing/witnessing your own energy to circulate by intention. The solo practices include Asanas (yoga postures), Pranayama (breathing exercises), Bondas (internal muscle squeezes for moving Chi), Mantras (chanting and toning), Yantras (geometric and energetic visualization), and Meditation (present moment awareness).
Learning to artfully embody openness as divine feminine or masculine energy (Shiva-Shakti energies) is a process of awakening, of noticing subtle closure habits of the body/mind, and "weeding" them out. Tantric practices awaken creativity and personal power by bringing us into alignment with our own highest truth. Practicing Tantra Yoga will make your body feel and look younger. You will find yourself wearing a happy smile and living from a posture of gratitude for the gift of aliveness. It "feels" good to live a lifestyle of Tantric practice. White Tantra builds the foundation for partnered practice known as "Red Tantra".
Red Tantra partners share energetic openness and awareness learned through practicing White Tantra. Each partner relaxes, opens, and feels outward from the heart. Each stays present and grounded in the desire to open the other as much or more than one's self throughout distractions of intense pleasure. It is easier to learn Red Tantra when partners designate one person as “giver” and the other as "receiver". Each partner can then focus on learning the distinctive skills of attentive unconditional giving and conscious worthiness for receiving. Giver's Mantra: "I love you just as you are, and I serve you with my full presence and awareness without expectation." Receiver's Mantra: "I am worthy of unconditional love just as I am. How much healing, love, and pleasure can I allow myself to take in?"
Developing the skill of "being present" is necessary in order to read a partner's signals of openness and closure. Tantrikas continuously ask the single most important guiding question of intimacy, "Is my presence and touch opening or closing my partner in this moment?" Serving a partner's openness dissolves the ego-self in blissful loving connectedness.
Giving priority attention to one's own sensations and being absent of awareness of a partner's openness of heart (or closure), reinforces separateness, not loving connectedness. Feel and allow your own energy as inspiration for giving with great passion and mindful awareness.
Avoid closing a partner through:
1.Disconnected taking of pleasure (simply not caring about a partner's openness); 2.Getting lost in self pleasure (interested in partner's openness, but awareness lapses during pleasure); and 3.Well intentioned giving (give what we enjoy giving, not what is actually best for opening our partner's heart; remember to follow your partner's response signals, not your desires; and hunt for new touch that pleases).
Paying attention to yourself without opening your partner's heart is disconnected un-love that is always at the root of sexual abuse. If you learn to remain connected to your partner's heart, ravishment in love can take any form, even very dark expressions, that are very pleasurable to all.
Conscious Loving Kindness
Love is both a quality of emotion and a bioelectric current of energy. Throughout the journey of our lives, each of us meets unique challenges that shape our emotional capacity to love and bodily openness to flow love's energy.
We each develop unique closure habits in response to our specific life challenges. Tantra Yoga techniques gently “rewire” the body-mind to allow a greater amperage of love and light energy to flow. Love and light gently release psychic and physical blocks that may be stored in body tissues (tissues store issues). The more you consciously practice openness, the less time you spend practicing closure by default.
In each intimate session you share with your beloved, hold sacred space where you each feel safe, relaxed, and nurtured. Take the time to really connect through being present with one another. Whatever the stress, strains, and time constraints of your day, make a priority relationship choice to connect with your partner in love without solving or doing; just be present as love with one another.
Everyday, as you depart from one another or greet each other after being apart, connect with a Tantric hug, look into each other's eyes, synchronize your breath, use visualization, and share in vocal toning. Be generous of spirit, always willing to be the first to resolve tension and affirm caring. Use the present moment to remember and really feel the love that pervades you. If your partner says "I love you", repeat to yourself, "I AM loved". Pause, take a breath, and draw the feeling of love in. Feel your worthiness for being loved just as you are in this moment before rushing to reciprocate with a loving compliment or gesture. Feel into your partner's heart by turning all your attention to them in the "NOW" as though you were actually wearing their skin. Be the reflection of love. The present moment is always the most important moment of your entire life (and this one, and this one…). Practice accepting this moment of "being" and allow yourself to return to relaxed awareness as often as possible throughout the day.
Commit whatever you "do" with your partner from this moment onward, whether it is intimate communion, cooking, taking out the garbage, or balancing the checkbook, to letting your "doing" flow from a place of connected hearts, of simply "being" in gratitude and love.
Partnerships bloom by holding intentions that invite one's own and a partner's healing; through "giving" with impeccable presence and surrendering "fully present" to receive the healing of a partner's sacred love; through knowing one's worthiness for being loved; and remembering the surest way to "make" love is to give love without expectation...giving and being present with gratitude for what "is".
Namaste means: I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you, which is of Love, of Truth, of Light, and of Peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are one.